Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize
