Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
