where does the pee come out of this thing
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
