Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
