I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
