butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
