Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Randomize
