Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
