I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
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