Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Soap is not a condiment
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
