Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
So much rum. So many feels.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
