Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
