just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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