Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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