You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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