Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
