Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
