i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
