Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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