Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
