we have officially lost it.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
