Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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