Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Randomize
