You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I feel like a drive thru vagina
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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