I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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