So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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