It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
