Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
