5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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