Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I'm always down for nudity.
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