Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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