The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
