just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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