alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
is it fun? or sober?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
