I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
the day after is always just damage control
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
