True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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