Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
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