i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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