Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
The air taste purple.
Randomize
