Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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