....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
