we have pet lesbian snakes
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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