yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
