Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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