I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
