ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
