I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
