i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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