the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
