meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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