so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
