Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
