Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
