im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
They have beer where we have blood.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
