How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
